My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
