In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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