OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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