I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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