your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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