i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
