u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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