just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
