Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
