When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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