I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
