Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im part way to drunk.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
