How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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