ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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