I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
