How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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