Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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