I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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