make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
