I hate your face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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