I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
