woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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