i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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