What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
