Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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