The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
