At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
