Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
