You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
