I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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