Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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