If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
