Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
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i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...