its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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