remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
