No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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