I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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