I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
