i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
