I'm lost and stupid without you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
