I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
