its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
