so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
