i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
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i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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