We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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