we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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