Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
