Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
