p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
