dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
