A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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