my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my being single is dangerous.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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