so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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