sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the condom got lost in my hair
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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