I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
