so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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