Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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