If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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