I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
