I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
