We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
