I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
