I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
