So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
