Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
