wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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