so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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