please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
