My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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