I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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