He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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